Fixing It

Unfortunately something that was supposed to be purely positive has been turned negative and I want to fix it. My blog post was not directed towards my former instructor, had nothing to do with his teaching at all. My post; this one http://kenpodoll.blogspot.com/2013/02/i-smiled-entire-time-i-wrote-this.html, was about my personal growth. If you go back and read my entry from May 2011 right after these seminars took place; this one here http://kenpodoll.blogspot.com/2011/05/motivated-through-guilt.html, I said

"I was livid with myself, I wasn't studying up to par. I didn't deserve the rank I wore, I own the Encyclopedia, the Journal and the Infinite Insights. And I have read and used them all numerous times. But there's a huge difference in reading and studying, much in the same way as there is a difference in listening and hearing. These past two weekends have been very motivational for me. I haven't closed the Kenpo Journal program on my laptop in over a week. Studying doesn't mean learning the techniques, studying means digging into the principles. What applications are found where and why. Anyone can learn techniques and forms, but principles, those are often over looked. I want to help preserve Mr. Parker's Kenpo, and I want to do it right. I still don't feel like I deserve to be a 3rd Brown Belt, but I will."

As you can see from the beginning, (When I was still a student of Mr. Bundy's) I said that I didn't know the principles in depth the way that I felt a 3rd Brown Belt should. Hearing principles and understanding them are two very different things. Angle of Cancellation versus Angle of Disturbance; yeah I didn't have a clue; now I do and I was proud of that. 

The key point that I want to stress that I said in the article that Mr. Bundy is referencing is;  "This was the first time that I had ever really been exposed to principles. I'd never heard terms such as Marriage of Gravity, Economy of Motion, etc. in such detail." In detail. 

The seminar in Oklahoma was the first time that i had been in attendance in a Brown/Black Belt only seminar. I did not feel up to par at the time because I didn't understand the details of principles, or how to properly execute them.

I really don't know what else to say; it wasn't about Mr. Bundy at all; it was about myself and the growth that I've experienced.

It's Just A Strip Of Cloth Right?

For the first time in almost five years of training I lost my belt; well kinda. Let me back up a bit. So Gene was out of town on Thursday night and I opened up the karate school for a few hours as an open mat to our adult students. We ran the line, worked on our forms then we padded up and sparred for a bit. It was a lot of fun for sure!

Fast forward to today, Saturday morning, threw on my pants and gi jacket right before class began, reached into my bag and my Brown Belt was not there. My stomach dropped and I immediately felt like I was going to throw up. Where the heck is my belt?! Class was literally lining up so I didn't have time to tear everything apart. Luckily Gene and I keep our belt racks at the school so I borrowed his 3rd Brown Belt and hopped onto the mat. I couldn't stop thinking about where my own belt was though. My mind was flying trying to track my path between Thursday evening and this morning. I never take my belt out of my bag unless it's going on my body so I was clueless and steadily growing more and more concerned.

  We ran the line again in adult class this morning, and my head was not in the game. Caleb Farmer noticed my anxiety and asked me if I was alright and I started to tear up when I told him I lost my Brown Belt. Immediately I started telling myself that "it's just a strip of cloth. Not a big deal, the belt is not that important. Suck it up cream puff!" There's no crying in Kenpo!! Class finished and then hunt began, after over an hour I found it, in my separate bag that I keep my sparring gear in. I was absolutely ecstatic.

Yes, it's just a strip of cloth, but I've put so much into Kenpo to earn the right to wear that belt. I've been wearing the same Brown Belt for almost 2 years now and it's a huge deal to me. The thought of having to break in a new 3rd Brown Belt broke my heart. I'm really happy that I'm a part of something that special. I'm glad that my initial reaction was to freak out, rather then just think "eh no worries, I can order a new one. No big deal." When you work hard for something you definitely cherish it for all it's worth. Instances like today make me so very grateful that I don't train in a McDojo.

Being a Good Role Model Via The 'Net

"Are you a good role model?"

Sometimes I step back and ask myself this question, just to keep myself on the right track. Earlier this week while I was scrolling through Facebook posts I came across an article that shocked me a bit. Recently a school teacher was fired from her position because of the inappropriate content that she shared on her social media accounts. This individual tweeted numerous photos of herself engaging in marijuana usage along with several photos of herself naked or nearly naked.

This 23 year old has ruined her professional career when it was just beginning because she abused social media. It's articles like that that cause me to stop and reflect on how I present myself. Social media is an incredibly powerful tool and it's true what they say, "The Internet is forever." Negative posts, tweets, and comments attract far more attention that positive ones do, which is a sad fact. As deep as the social sharing has become it's not just what you personally post or share that your friends or followers can see; it's every like, comment and retweet as well. Your interactions with others are not private over the world wide web.

All I could think while I read that article was; "what if she had been a karate school instructor?" What if she had been an instructor in a school and fellow students or instructors saw her acting like that?

When people make you angry do you react blindly with emotions and ego bleeding through your fingers as fast as you can tap those keys? Or are you able to keep a level head and respond clearly and responsibly? Do you make an attempt to keep your matters private or are they splattered across your Timeline?

I'll admit, it's very difficult for me to keep my wits about me and respond rationally to something when a post angers me online; but I've gotten a lot better over the years and I have to credit Kenpo for that. Part of the 3rd Brown Belt Pledge talks about handling all grievances or disputes away from group observation. I feel had Mr. Parker created that pledge in 2013 it would read something along the lines of "I will handle all grievances and disputes away from group observation AND the Internet."

When you are teaching other people, especially kids, about the martial arts respect is one of the largest building blocks in the foundation of a good martial artist. Not just respect from students that are a lower rank than you but also respect for yourself. Being appropriate not only when you are face to face with other people, but also when you are sitting behind your computer screen. A good martial artist keeps their ego in check and their interactions appropriate. A good martial artist has respect for their fellow students, including those that are of a lower rank than them. It seems that the higher ranks automatically are shown respect, as it should be, however at some point everyone has been a White Belt. Lower ranks deserve respect too.

So next time you're typing out a status that's so full of your ego there's no more room on the screen, or you are about to share a raunchy photo, please please think of who may see it (everyone) and what the repercussions might be before you click that post button.

Our Students Love To Share!

I love, love, love the family aspect that we have at Scholar and Warrior Kenpo Academy. Love it! Can you tell how I feel about it yet; it truly has become this huge loving Kenpo family. Today I had a kid blow me away (for the second time this month;) and she isn't even a student, she's the sister of a student. Chris Henry is one of our little five year olds that joined back in July of 2012. Chris' two siblings, Cody and Kassidy, always come to class with Chris and hang out with Mom while Chris trains.

Two weeks ago Kassidy approached me while I was sitting at my desk arranging some paperwork and said; "Ms. Elliot guess what I know the Kenpo Creed."
I raised my eyebrow a little and said, "Oh do you?"
Kassidy said to me; "Yep I can prove it!" She then slapped her hand down on my desk where I have a photo that Mr. Hale gave me of a Karambit with the Creed printed underneath of it and recited the Kenpo Creed to me flawlessly. When she finished she said; "I read that every time that I come here." Then bounced off to go play with the other kids.
I probably stood there for a good ten seconds gaping at what just happened.

I thought that was the coolest thing but what happened tonight takes the cake! Kassidy came up to me tonight and very shyly tapped me on the arm and said; "Ms. Elliot may I show you something."

This little girl showed me a near perfect Blocking Set One!! I was so excited I couldn't believe it. She learned it from working at home with her little brother and watching the classes from the side. It really makes me excited to know that our students are going home and they're practicing on their own, and sharing it with their siblings, and maybe even their friends and that sparks an interest in the kids they're sharing with. I love that our students are just as excited about sharing Kenpo with others as we are!

I Smiled The Entire Time I Wrote This. :)

Awesome! That's exactly how I feel, it's two days later and I still feel pretty darn awesome. Life is awesome, air is awesome, I feel awesome!! On Wednesday night I earned my first stripe towards my 2nd Brown Belt. The first 12 techniques of 2nd Brown Belt I have DOWN! I have been on Cloud Nine ever since.

So when Gene and I decided to open our own school in 2011 I asked Gene to teach me everything again. I asked him to do this because I didn't feel like I deserved to wear the rank of 3rd Brown Belt. The week after I earned my 3rd Brown Belt I attended a seminar weekend with Mr. Rich Hale and Mr. Brian Duffy. And Mr. Hale taught us about principles found within the system. This was the first time that I had ever really been exposed to principles. I'd never heard terms such as Marriage of Gravity, Economy of Motion, etc. in such detail. I felt absolutely awful. I never felt more undeserving as I did on the ride home from Oklahoma that weekend. That was in May of 2011; and I wasn't sure what to do about my dilemma, or the ever growing guilt in the pit of my stomach.
In August, Gene and I decided to open our own school. And that was when I ask him to start me over at Yellow Belt. So, for twenty two months we worked on everything. Yellow Belt and up. I'm no where near perfect, but I'm much better than I was 2 years ago. I know I deserve the rank that I wear now, and that feels fantastic!

I went through a serious period where I wanted to quit, I was very discouraged and I'll admit it was hard. It was harder than I thought it would be, to relearn techniques and do them by the book. I had never been conscious about the lower platform before; checking with the legs is still something that I struggle with. I'm really glad that I stuck through it though. I have that fire burning again, I know it sounds weird but I love that I can hit people again, and even better they can hit me. There's something very depressing about training in a martial art and going a period of time where you can't really make and receive contact with anyone. I can't wait to be in the school, I've always loved being there, we have so many wonderful students and parents it would be hard not to want to be there all the time. But I want to be there for me as well now. I am just itching to get back onto the mat and learn every class. We have an amazing school with nearly 50 students, I'm coming along in my training, as is Gene in his, and life is genuinely wonderful.

***If you're reading this because of the misunderstanding that occurred when Mr. Bundy read this post please also read this blog post here http://kenpodoll.blogspot.com/2013/03/fixing-it.html?m=1 so it will hopefully clear up any misunderstandings you may have as well. Thank you for stopping by my blog!***

2013 Is Looking Fabulous

We're only halfway into January and 2013 is already looking fabulous for Scholar and Warrior Kenpo Academy. Our school has nearly quadrupled the number of students that it had this time last year and we couldn't be more excited. It's such a blessing to be doing something that you love; but I think it's an even greater blessing when it turns into something that other people love too.

Last night I was speaking with one of our adult students after class, and our conversation that we shared brought me to tears. Happy tears though, no worries! I knew when Gene and I opened this school that it was always going to be important to us. Whether we had six students or sixty; sharing Mr. Parker's Art was the only thing that was really important to us. I never expected to have our students love the Art, the school, us even as much as they have. Last night our adult student told me that Kenpo saved her, that she's in a place in her life right now where she doesn't have that much going on for her. She has Kenpo though; and she loves it! She told me that when she runs into people that she knows and they ask her what she's been up to the first thing that she says is; "well I'm doing karate now." This particular student and myself attended college together and she thanked me, for encouraging her to come check it out, and she was thankful to Gene too. She wasn't looking for a place where she'd have the crap beaten out of her, she was just looking for a place where she could learn self defense. She said she never felt comfortable doing any sort of physical activity, but that she does here at our school. About then is when the tear or two started falling.

I love hearing things like that, I love when kids say that they had fun in class. I love it when parents bring their kids early because they can't wait to get there. It's such an exciting blessing. I love the incredible group of people that this school has brought into our lives, not just the students, but even the parents. We have some of the most supportive parents ever, they're just wonderful.

I look forward to our family continuing to grow and coming closer and closer together. I look forward to our school getting better and our training getting harder. I look forward to American Kenpo making a positive impact in our lives, our students lives, and our future students lives. I look forward to the bruises, the laughs, the sweat, and the rank that 2013 holds.

Does It Get Easier?

Tonight during adult class one of our students who is preparing for her Yellow Belt Exam asked me; "does it get easier the higher up in rank you get?"

I stopped and thought about it for a good 30 seconds before I answered. And this is what I said to her; "No, it'll never be easier, not as long as it is important to you. In fact it seems the higher the belt rank the more nerve racking it is right before you test. I do believe that once you're out there on the mat and you are half an hour into your test I think you have better control of your nerves though."

I can only speak from personal experience obviously, but I remember being disgustingly nervous right before my Yellow Belt exam. I had never done anything like karate before, I had no idea how it was going to go. Orange and Purple were equally as nerve wracking and I remember flubbing a bit on my Purple material. (Short Form 2 was NOT pretty.)

Blue Belt was the first belt that I tested in front of someone besides my instructor at the time. He threw basics and terms at me that I had never even heard of before. It was in the middle of my Blue Belt exam that I was told there was not only a 45 degree Cat Stance but also a 90 degree Cat Stance.

Green Belt was hard! Probably my hardest exam so far, I was so so nervous the entire time.

3rd Brown Belt was absolute HELL leading up to it. I think I stopped eating 2 days before that exam. My first Advanced rank exam, I must have ran those techniques 200 times everyday. At work, in my car, in bed at night because I couldn't sleep. I thought I was going to throw up before my 3rd Brown test. That was my best test thus far though. I remember absolutely blasting through the material, I didn't have to stop and redo a single technique that entire exam. Everything flowed seamlessly. But, here's the catch, I didn't know that I was being tested, I thought I was being evaluated during regular class time and then there was going to be a formal test after class ended. Had I been under the full pressure of a legitimate exam, I honestly think that nerves would have gotten the better of me.

2nd Brown isn't that far in my future now, and I already get nervous about it. I've spent the past year and a half relearning every single thing in the EPAK curriculum because what I knew wasn't right. It was rushed, and ill timed and I didn't even know what principles and concepts were until AFTER I was a 3rd Brown Belt. 2nd Brown is my first exam as Gene's student, that scares the hell out of me, because I know him. I know exactly how picky he is and he knows exactly what I suck at.

Does it get easier? No, no I really don't think so, but I think it get easier to overcome that fear. I believe through your training you gain the self confidence you need to conquer yourself. Because in the end, it's really up to you whether or not you pass.  How bad do you want it?