Fixing It

Unfortunately something that was supposed to be purely positive has been turned negative and I want to fix it. My blog post was not directed towards my former instructor, had nothing to do with his teaching at all. My post; this one http://kenpodoll.blogspot.com/2013/02/i-smiled-entire-time-i-wrote-this.html, was about my personal growth. If you go back and read my entry from May 2011 right after these seminars took place; this one here http://kenpodoll.blogspot.com/2011/05/motivated-through-guilt.html, I said

"I was livid with myself, I wasn't studying up to par. I didn't deserve the rank I wore, I own the Encyclopedia, the Journal and the Infinite Insights. And I have read and used them all numerous times. But there's a huge difference in reading and studying, much in the same way as there is a difference in listening and hearing. These past two weekends have been very motivational for me. I haven't closed the Kenpo Journal program on my laptop in over a week. Studying doesn't mean learning the techniques, studying means digging into the principles. What applications are found where and why. Anyone can learn techniques and forms, but principles, those are often over looked. I want to help preserve Mr. Parker's Kenpo, and I want to do it right. I still don't feel like I deserve to be a 3rd Brown Belt, but I will."

As you can see from the beginning, (When I was still a student of Mr. Bundy's) I said that I didn't know the principles in depth the way that I felt a 3rd Brown Belt should. Hearing principles and understanding them are two very different things. Angle of Cancellation versus Angle of Disturbance; yeah I didn't have a clue; now I do and I was proud of that. 

The key point that I want to stress that I said in the article that Mr. Bundy is referencing is;  "This was the first time that I had ever really been exposed to principles. I'd never heard terms such as Marriage of Gravity, Economy of Motion, etc. in such detail." In detail. 

The seminar in Oklahoma was the first time that i had been in attendance in a Brown/Black Belt only seminar. I did not feel up to par at the time because I didn't understand the details of principles, or how to properly execute them.

I really don't know what else to say; it wasn't about Mr. Bundy at all; it was about myself and the growth that I've experienced.

It's Just A Strip Of Cloth Right?

For the first time in almost five years of training I lost my belt; well kinda. Let me back up a bit. So Gene was out of town on Thursday night and I opened up the karate school for a few hours as an open mat to our adult students. We ran the line, worked on our forms then we padded up and sparred for a bit. It was a lot of fun for sure!

Fast forward to today, Saturday morning, threw on my pants and gi jacket right before class began, reached into my bag and my Brown Belt was not there. My stomach dropped and I immediately felt like I was going to throw up. Where the heck is my belt?! Class was literally lining up so I didn't have time to tear everything apart. Luckily Gene and I keep our belt racks at the school so I borrowed his 3rd Brown Belt and hopped onto the mat. I couldn't stop thinking about where my own belt was though. My mind was flying trying to track my path between Thursday evening and this morning. I never take my belt out of my bag unless it's going on my body so I was clueless and steadily growing more and more concerned.

  We ran the line again in adult class this morning, and my head was not in the game. Caleb Farmer noticed my anxiety and asked me if I was alright and I started to tear up when I told him I lost my Brown Belt. Immediately I started telling myself that "it's just a strip of cloth. Not a big deal, the belt is not that important. Suck it up cream puff!" There's no crying in Kenpo!! Class finished and then hunt began, after over an hour I found it, in my separate bag that I keep my sparring gear in. I was absolutely ecstatic.

Yes, it's just a strip of cloth, but I've put so much into Kenpo to earn the right to wear that belt. I've been wearing the same Brown Belt for almost 2 years now and it's a huge deal to me. The thought of having to break in a new 3rd Brown Belt broke my heart. I'm really happy that I'm a part of something that special. I'm glad that my initial reaction was to freak out, rather then just think "eh no worries, I can order a new one. No big deal." When you work hard for something you definitely cherish it for all it's worth. Instances like today make me so very grateful that I don't train in a McDojo.