Today is my Kenpo Birthday. Three years ago today I embarked on the greatest journey of my life. Three years ago I stood in the worst horse stance ever, clad in exercise pants and a t-shirt, and became a student of Kenpo. The beginning was awful, much like learning a language. I muddled through everything, tripping and falling over my movements. I was that kid that threw a kick and fell on my bum. I was choppy, sloppy and damn near embarrassing. But I had a fire, and intense consuming passion to learn anything and everything. I longed to move with the grace and cursive like motion of the advanced students. But for the longest time it seemed ducks had more grace than I did.
I’m still nowhere near the level of skill that I desire, and when looked at as a measurement of time that is completely logical. Mr. Rich Hale once said to a group of students and myself, “You don’t expect a toddler to walk and speak perfectly, these things take time.” One of the many examples that rank is nothing more than a piece of paper and a strip of cloth.
Countless times have I heard men that I respect and admire say, “It’s not how long you’ve been IN the Art. It’s how long you’ve been AT the Art.” I’ve been AT Kenpo for three years now. I’m still a toddler. I don’t mumble my movements quite as much as I used to, but I still have so much growing room. When I was first granted my Third Brown Belt I felt a slew of emotions. Mostly I felt undeserving. A few months into it now I am much more comfortable because I’ve come to realize that although I am an advanced student I am also a toddler.
Knowing that there is no race to the Black Belt, accepting the fact that it is incredibly unrealistic to expect myself to be a picture perfect Kenpoist has eased quite a bit of my anxiety. Brown Belt stills hangs heavy on my hips make no mistake, but only because I want to always perform to the best I can for those that believe in me.
These three years have impacted me more than any other person or activity I have ever been involved with. I have gained friendships in various other arts from all across the globe. I’ve been exposed to a fantastic world I wasn’t even aware existed. I have stood on the mat with some of the world’s greatest martial artists and have been blessed to be on the receiving end of just a smidge of their knowledge. I have visited five different states I had never before set foot in. I’ve met the person I consider not perfect but perfect for me. And I have become more confident in myself and what I can accomplish than I ever had been prior.
I have confidence that I will become a Black Belt. I have confidence that I will one day share Ed Parker’s American Kenpo with as many as are willing to call me teacher. I have confidence that I will always be a student. And finally I have confidence that Kenpo will continue to shape me for the rest of my life.
I don’t think that’s too bad for a three year old. ;)
