The Spaghetti Arm Kenpo Struggle

I’m a terrible blogger, let’s just go ahead and get that out of the way. The older I get and the more things I add to my life the more sporadic my blogging becomes. I hardly remembered the password to this old thing, but I still think on it often, and occasionally am inspired to write up a post or two.

Today is one of those days;

I guess I always imagined that when I lost a lot of weight (85lbs so far) that I would just become Super Kenpoist and nothing could stop me. Actually, that’s precisely not the case, clearly I have one hell of an imagination. Lately I’ve noticed that once again the biggest struggle I’m facing with my own training is fighting against myself. Before I had no energy, I always felt weighted down, and there were some things that I just could not do because I didn’t have enough command of my body. I didn’t have enough command of my body because there was too much mass.

So I began to shed the mass, and after say losing 40lbs I felt awesome! There was this great ratio where I felt in control of my motions and had a good balance. Then I lost another 45lbs and now I’m in this odd stage where I don’t know my body. My limbs seem so much longer, and I’m weirdly lighter all over. Now don’t get me wrong, when I race my puppy up the stairs at my home I love how light I feel. But when I am in class and I hit someone with my spaghetti arm I’m not as happy. In fact I’m irritated.

I’m struggling to generate torque, I’m struggling on how to utilize back up mass because, well let’s face it, there’s a lot less mass there. Guys I’m just struggling all around, I need more muscle in a bad way, especially in my upper platform. It’s so very frustrating, I’m learning all over AGAIN! So now in addition to the cardio that has been a staple in my life for over a year and a half I’m adding some strength training. I use the word strength training very lightly, just like my weights are right now. “More reps less weight” I mutter to myself as I struggle through 20lb curls and promise myself there are tacos in my future.

I know this is just another bump in the road towards that Black Belt, and I know that I can overcome it with time and perseverance. Doesn’t make it any less frustrating. Have any of you experienced this before? How did you “get your groove back?” Anyways, I’m still working on Operation Build a Better Kenpoist. Good thing I know this is a life art!  

2nd Brown Finally!

1,603 days. That's how long I was a 3rd Brown Belt, 229 weeks or nearly 4 1/2 years. Any way that you slice it, it's a long time. There was a time when I thought I wanted to quit, but I overcame that. There was a time when I couldn't fit into my uniform, but I overcame that. There was a time when I thought that I'd always be a 3rd Brown, but I overcame that too. I learned a whole hell of a lot more than just my required rank material in these past 4 1/2 years. 2015 has been my phoenix year, I said I wanted to lose 50lbs, get back into college, and earn my 2nd Brown. All three missions accomplished! It hasn't completely sunk in yet, it may not until I have a new belt and a certificate in front of me, but there's a joy that I just can't express with words. I haven't been this excited about something in a very long time. I'm coming for you 1st Brown!!!

An Unlikely Place to Utilize Kenpo

My dear blogger friends!

Obviously I have fallen off the blogosphere for a bit; life tends to do that doesn’t it? I’m still training hard, (super hard in fact!) I’m closing in on that 2^nd Brown Belt and it’s sort of consumed my every thought lately! Today though I have a fun story to share with you!

Midwestern winters are downright despicable; so naturally when a 68 degree day comes along in the beginning of March I am absolutely going to be out pounding the pavement for a run! So, yesterday being gorgeous as it was had me lacing up my Nikes and getting my run on as soon as I got home from work. I use an app called RunKeeper that verbally updates you on your progress every 5 minutes and I love it! Right after my first 5 minute recap (my warm up basically) I started a sprint, and made it approximately half a block before I tripped on a pile of dilapidated concrete! Hey St. Joe, MO your sidewalks are horrendous and crumbling!!

So here I am falling forward and instinct completely took over; I caught my momentum with the heels of my palms and my right knee then continued the motion to push myself over into a tuck and roll. Unfortunately I tuck and rolled so hard when I landed on my back I knocked the wind out of myself BUT I didn’t hit my head or my face at all! My worst injury is a tiny splinter; I’m not even bleeding anywhere!

Here’s the interesting part, I am absolutely crap at doing tuck and rolls in class on 2in thick mats. I know it’s entirely mental; I’m terrified of doing it wrong and snapping my neck. While I was lying on the ground gasping like a fish out of water though all I could think was “hell yes thank you Kenpo!!!” A super sweet Indian lady saw my fall and pulled over to ask if I was alright she even offered to drive me home but I declined because I wanted to at least get one full mile in.

I owe that instinct to Kenpo completely because I surely didn’t learn that anywhere else. The moral of this story is Kenpo can be used in even your most mundane circumstances. That millisecond occurrence is complete validation for almost 7 years and hundreds of classes that I’ve spent on the mat so far! What we teach absolutely does work and the longer you are in it the more it becomes engrained into your DNA. Practice doesn't make perfect but it does make permanent, so get to class! :D

The One Where I Found What I Had Thought Was Lost

Bear with me ladies and gents, this will probably be long and wordy.

To say that then less then enthused about Kenpo in the past year is a severe understatement. I have been struggling for quite some time with it, so long actually that I don't honestly know when it began. 

Let me back up, when I first began training in Kenpo in July 2008 I was absolutely on fire! It's all I thought and talked about and all I did and it was that way for years. Fast forward to year 4 or 5 in Kenpo and that roaring fire was more of a matchstick flame; not long after that it was basically ebbing coals. I actually found myself dreading class, it wasn't attending the school part that I didn't like spending time with the students and their parents that never went away, but I hated the idea of getting out on the mat. 

I wanted to quit so very badly, I think one time I even told Gene that I quit. Honestly I really couldn't understand why hated it so much, Kenpo practically save me it definitely kept me sane. When I found Kenpo I had no friends, I have just moved to the Midwest and I needed an extracurricular desperately, it was exactly what the doctor ordered. I kept thinking to myself, "Kenpo is your passion! It made you who you are! Kenpo is you!" Despite the mantra I was still dreading it. 

It took me a while to figure it out, and when I did there ended up being three main factors;

1) I have been the same rank for almost 3 1/2 years. When Gene became my instructor I recertified for all previous rank under him; meaning we went back and he re-taught me every single thing straight from the book starting with Delayed Sword. This was something that I wanted and honestly if the smallest of the three factors but it did manage to make the list. 

2) I gained weight. SURPRISE!!! My metabolism at age 19 is not the same age 22, or 24 for that matter! Gaining weight slowed me down and maybe bad the techniques I was supposed to do and techniques I used to be good at. Unsurprisingly I became depressed, but instead of combating it in order to fix the problem I ate my feelings and the problem ensued. Literally just three weeks ago I decided to fix it and I've been very diligent with that decision already seeing results.

3) factor three I did not realize until I was on my way home from work tonight. You see Gene was out of town for part of last week and this week as well, so with the assistance of our sensational assistant instructors I have been running SWKA. (huge thank you to Clinton George and Mark Dalen without you I don't know what Gene and I would do.) no this is not the first time I've ran the school without Gene but it is the first time in a while, I can't lie it is both intimidating and difficult. On my way home to grab my gi and check on the fur babies I casually thought to myself; "I am pumped for Kenpo." 

Now I'm not sure how you do a double take with yourself concerning a thought you formulated only in your brain but I assure you I did just that. 

"I am pumped for Kenpo! I am pumped for Kenpo! I'm not just preparing myself to go to class tonight, I actually CANNOT WAIT TO GO!" 

I am so glad that is pulling into my driveway when the thought occurred because I sat in my car for a few moments crying actual tears of joy. I have my Kenpo back, my fire is returning. I can literally feel those flames rebuilding inside my stomach and all I could do was cry because there was a time when I thought but those claims were gone forever.  

Teaching these past two weeks show me just how much I didn't know I was missing. I haven't really assisted teaching classes in probably a year. But this week, no today, I realized I need this! I need to be a part of helping build other Kenpoists on their journey. I need to help pass on the Flame, not only for the sake of preserving Mr. Parker's Kenpo but for myself. 

Now if you'll excuse me I have some classes I have to go teach! :) 

Motivated Through Guilt

On April 25, 2011 I was presented with my 3rd Brown Belt. I had been working towards that rank for over a year, and it brought tears to my eyes when I was finally able to wrap that piece of cloth around my waist. This is the moment I had been waiting for, I knew my techniques and my forms. I had my pledge memorized and I had even created my Thesis proposal. I felt I had earned the rank that lay before me. Now I don't know.

 The next two weekends following were Kenpo filled weekends; road trips, fellowship and Kenpo it's what I look forward to. Mr. Brian Duffy and Mr. Rich Hale both gave outstanding seminars. I'm an avid note taker, and i spent the entire weekend with a notebook and pen tucked into my gi so I could scribble notes to myself every chance I got. And the more notes that I took the more my heart sank. I was a Brown Belt now, albeit a 5 day old Brown Belt but that's just semantics. My waist told people that I knew things that my head didn't. Mr. Hale said in one of his seminars, "Kenpo is much more than just a kick, a punch or a chop. It has principles, that's what makes Kenpo so different." Mr. Hale told us that Mr. Parker never once taught him a technique, he taught him Kenpo.

I was livid with myself, I wasn't studying up to par. I didn't deserve the rank I wore, I own the Encyclopedia, the Journal and the Infinite Insights. And I have read and used them all numerous times. But there's a huge difference in reading and studying, much in the same way as there is a difference in listening and hearing. These past two weekends have been very motivational for me. I haven't closed the Kenpo Journal program on my laptop in over a week. Studying doesn't mean learning the techniques, studying means digging into the principles. What applications are found where and why. Anyone can learn techniques and forms, but principles, those are often over looked. I want to help preserve Mr. Parker's Kenpo, and I want to do it right. I still don't feel like I deserve to be a 3rd Brown Belt, but I will.