On April 25, 2011 I was presented with my 3rd Brown Belt. I had been working towards that rank for over a year, and it brought tears to my eyes when I was finally able to wrap that piece of cloth around my waist. This is the moment I had been waiting for, I knew my techniques and my forms. I had my pledge memorized and I had even created my Thesis proposal. I felt I had earned the rank that lay before me. Now I don't know.
The next two weekends following were Kenpo filled weekends; road trips, fellowship and Kenpo it's what I look forward to. Mr. Brian Duffy and Mr. Rich Hale both gave outstanding seminars. I'm an avid note taker, and i spent the entire weekend with a notebook and pen tucked into my gi so I could scribble notes to myself every chance I got. And the more notes that I took the more my heart sank. I was a Brown Belt now, albeit a 5 day old Brown Belt but that's just semantics. My waist told people that I knew things that my head didn't. Mr. Hale said in one of his seminars, "Kenpo is much more than just a kick, a punch or a chop. It has principles, that's what makes Kenpo so different." Mr. Hale told us that Mr. Parker never once taught him a technique, he taught him Kenpo.
I was livid with myself, I wasn't studying up to par. I didn't deserve the rank I wore, I own the Encyclopedia, the Journal and the Infinite Insights. And I have read and used them all numerous times. But there's a huge difference in reading and studying, much in the same way as there is a difference in listening and hearing. These past two weekends have been very motivational for me. I haven't closed the Kenpo Journal program on my laptop in over a week. Studying doesn't mean learning the techniques, studying means digging into the principles. What applications are found where and why. Anyone can learn techniques and forms, but principles, those are often over looked. I want to help preserve Mr. Parker's Kenpo, and I want to do it right. I still don't feel like I deserve to be a 3rd Brown Belt, but I will.